Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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