What's the square root of 69? 8.3

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

thumb_up thumb_down +20

your father died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the clown go to the hospital? i hit him in the leg with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do black people and apples have in common? They are both fruit... except for black people

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe Joe who? Your friend Joe OK come in

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? there are no babies they are all dead in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Not Steve Jobs

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops