Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

How much did the Holla Cost?

Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

I am on a escalator.

Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

Why did a duck cross the street? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

An asian loses to you in starcraft..

Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

Your mother is so old that she is dead.

your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

A black man didn't walk into a bar

(-(-(-(--)-)-)-) Look the chinese mafia

Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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