What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

thumb_up thumb_down +41

24!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +39

where are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what ya call e dong withb eyes peeneyes

thumb_up thumb_down +37

#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

AVB

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops