whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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1:Nice comeback. 2: If I wanted my cum back, I would get it off your mom's face

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Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

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Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

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What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

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Weiner

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What did the victim say to the rapist? If you're gonna rape me, at least let me go get you a condom

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WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

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Why do gay guys like push pops? Because they are a delicious lollipop treat.

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What do you call two mexican's jumping the border? people with a hard life trying to get to the new world.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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