What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops