What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

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You know what is not cool? Fire.

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

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who is awesome? no one...

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a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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What do a dog and a tree have in common? BARK!

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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