I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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Who's there? Knock Knock.

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what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

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roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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Why did spongebob eat Patrick Because he was hungry

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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What did the bartender say to selena gomez? Your hot.

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What did the abortion say to the womb? I'm outta here.

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Hey, Max!!

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

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this girl died

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Q) what's black and white and red all over? A) a slaughtered zebra.

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version 2 knock knock, whose there FU CK FU CK who FU CK YOU

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Black History Month

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Look out there's a bus in front of you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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