What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

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A man buy's a new lawn mower, it breaks so he takes it back. The shopworker says that if you don't have a recipt then you cannot replace it, the man goes home and months later catch's a flu.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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this is gay

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What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

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You know what is not cool? Fire.

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What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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who is awesome? no one...

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

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What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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What do a dog and a tree have in common? BARK!

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Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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