Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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What's funny about an anti-joke? It's a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

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Who's this Jesus, have you heard of him?

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Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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82

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Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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