A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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wtf the enter the following thingie says I am here

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why do black people hate chainsaws? the noise they make- run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga

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What did the clock say? The time.

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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Which is correct grammar: 'I hasn't a penis got' or 'I doesn't a penis has'? Answer: They're both wrong.

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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A man is talking nonsense at a wall when another man walks up to him. "Why are you talking at a wall?" "I'm trying to appease the mighty wall god Kaleothayrhonka." "Cool, let me join you!" And they both talk at the wall for hours on end because they are stupid that way.

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What is worse than 20 black men stealing your TV? Having your family die in tragic car accident.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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Electronic Arts is a respectable company.

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2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

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Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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What's worse than loosing your pen? Getting raped by a pedophile.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Spell: “This word”

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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