What do you call a black man in an envelope? A tiny black man

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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Your mom was diagnosed with aids. Her prognosis was 6 months....clearly this joke is about the Holocaust.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm about to kill you Don't scream, here's a lollipop

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What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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Q

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Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

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Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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Two Haitians walk into a bar and it collapses

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

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What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

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Why was Martin Luther King Jr. Shot? Because he was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops