Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 raped and murdered 8.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Do you know what they say? Words

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knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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What is black, has either black or yellow stripes, and cannot climb trees? A parking lot.

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What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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My butt!!!!

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Women's football

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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