What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the Jewish boy grab his groin? Because he was just circumcised.

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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Your momma is so fat, that her doctor recommended that she goes on a diet in order to prevent early death caused by a heart problem.

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After filling her car up with gas, a woman leaves the gas station with the pump still attached to her car. Why did this happen, you ask? It was a silly mistake anyone could have made.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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Q: What do you call a black preist? A: Father

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What's 9 plus 10? 19

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

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Your so stupid, that your stupid.

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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