What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

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Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

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A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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What do you call a mexican riding a bike? A cyclist.

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"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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