i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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7>6

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A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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Passing by

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

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"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops