Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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Q:What did the goat die? A: I dont know everything dies

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.....

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Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

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the battle of waterloo

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Doug.

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Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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mooooh im a cow

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Knock knock It's open

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What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

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What's worse then ten dead babies being nailed to a tree? Being the one to take them down.

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Stephen Hawkings was ice skating on the Eiffel Tower... then he woke up.

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a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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Starter clothing

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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A six foot chicken, a horse, and a muskrat walk into a bar. They are then detained by animal control and the bar undergoes a thorough cleaning.

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

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"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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