A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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Why did the girl fall off a cliff? Because it was an Anti-Joke.

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

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Dancing Potatoe!

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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What did the Hobo get for Christmas? Nothing,He celebrated Hanukkah.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

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Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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hi michael

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Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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