How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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25

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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