What did the two eggs in the frying pan say to each other? Nothing, their eggs.

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What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

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why did i fall? i got pushed!

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Knock knock. Come in.

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h

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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alert("The Game");//

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

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Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

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Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

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42

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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motley crew

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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