Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

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Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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what is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the face like yours belongs to the zoo. Please don't be sad, 'cos I'll be there too.. Not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

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How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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Women's Rights.

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

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What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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