An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

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Q: What's the worst part about being a black Jew? A: You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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The bird is not the word.... Its two

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Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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Q: What sucks? A: Straws

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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