why did i fall? i got pushed!

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

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test

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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9/11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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i have a white dog on my and have the strangest boner

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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What time is it? 10:58

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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