Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

thumb_up thumb_down +12

42

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

thumb_up thumb_down +12

poo poo you you doo doo too too

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

thumb_up thumb_down +12

-When is a door not a door? -Never

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black man boards a plane. He enjoys the rest of the flight in first class.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems are pointless Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops