What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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9/11

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Women's rights.

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

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Where did the Welsh man work? At an office complex.

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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Susie has Autism

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What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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