What do you call a kid with headgear and one leg? Names.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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mooooh im a cow

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

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Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

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Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

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What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

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a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

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I black guy was walking down a street when he saw a beautiful women and said to her that she looked lovely

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What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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A priest, a rabbi and an imam walked into a bar and had a great time because all of them worship the same God. (Obs: The imam ordered only soft drinks)

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Rock, paper, scissors, ebola

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why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

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What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

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Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

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Knock knock It's open

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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