How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

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solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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Six million.

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A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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alston wang

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Your mom is so black that her skin tone is darker than most people

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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