Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Women Voting

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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