Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

a man walks into a bar..... OWW!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What's worse than falling off your bike? Getting hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

So, this guy walks into the doctor's and says: "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says: "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +124

The NHL playoffs

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a group of men terrible at their jobs? The Mets

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bra, he is an alcoholic and is destroying his family

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did one blind girl ask the other? A: Where are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the kid say when he could not find his shoe? wheres my shoe?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

thumb_up thumb_down +142

-Knock knock. -Who's there? -Doctor. -Docter who? -Yes...

thumb_up thumb_down +64

So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How did the gymnast fall off the beam? Got shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There's a blonde, Brunette and a Redhead stuck at the top of a cliff. A genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish. The Brunette wishes she could at the bottom of the cliff, The redhead wishes she could be back with her children and the blonde would just love to be back to her family. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -95

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Anything you want, it's only a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

what has 9 legs, 4 feet and is orange? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

what did the chicken say to the farmer? nothing, chickens dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what does a black car sound like when it starts? RUN-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA -GRANT PARK ALL THE WAY

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

thumb_up thumb_down -86

y do churches have kneelers?, cuz it puts less stain on ur knees

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Rock, paper, scissors, ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops