Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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Waseem is not a funny guy!

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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Your social life

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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