What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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lick my ballsack.... ok

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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K

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and beat the oncoming car.

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What's a boomerang that never comes back to you? A stick. :/

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What do JFK and Hitler have in common? They died.

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Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. To get to the other side.

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Why did the tree fall down? Because no one caught it.

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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What is worse than getting the wrong haircut at a hair salon? A terrible shooting at your local Chuck-E-Cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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