Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

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What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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Ryan Chang is funny.

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What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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