What's brown and sticky? Poo

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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Romney 2012

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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7

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You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

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What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. He says, "I am what I am." The white guy says, "yes." The black guy says, "why did you say yes?" If he was black he would have said, "I is what I is.":):):):):):):):)<3

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops