What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

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What is worse than finding 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? Finding 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

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What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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Why does an elephant lay on it's back with its feet in the air? To trip birds.

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Yo mamma's so black, and that's ok. We're all different and unique.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first one.

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Roses are red, I want a gravestone, nobody loves me, forever alone

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? were both therapists.

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What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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A horse walks into a bar... it was accompanied by a blind man for it was a seeing eye pony and the bartender who was not tolerant to blind people turned away the man causing him to recieve dirty glances from the kindly patrons of the bar.

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What do you call it when 1 person has an imaginary friend? A mental disorder. What do you call it when 1 billion people have an imaginary friend? A Religion.

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yaa tsi tsup ari dik ari dull an dik ari dill an dits tan dool la dippyduppy dull la roop uttyroopy la goorigan gook aya gittygangool arup cha cha adippydappydill la baritztandill lan den lan doe a barik kata barip pari baribadeebadeebadee standen lan doe ya baril las ten lan day a doe la babadeadevadevadevaduv ya vou what is that little las day lan doe badakadagadaga doo doo day a doe

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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