Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots his virgin

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What do you call a Mexican from Cancun? A cholo.

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What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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What happened september 11th, 2001 It was my first time snorkoling in Hawaii

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A woman comes at the doctor.

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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What's up? A direction...

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

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antijokes

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Who has downs this joke

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

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What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your TV

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops