What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

Chapter 6 : The pimp ``scooby`` tells how delivered the poor young people to people with money.

What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

-Knock Knock. -Come in.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock, Knock. Come in.

Amputations.

What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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