only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

what did the kid do after the rabbit told him trix are for kids? he beat him with a stick then ate some sushi.

Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice carton? She was trying to read the nutrition label and had forgotten her reading glasses.

Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

how do you teach a baby to walk? cut of its hands.

How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

What's the difference between a carrot and an elephant? The carrot is orange.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit on the back of the bus? All the other seats were taken....

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

What begins with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Your neighbor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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