Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

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Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

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Yo momma so fat, she can't preform physical exercises with proper form.

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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