no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? nothing he ain't already told her twice....

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The horse's name was Friday

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Why did Debby drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.

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What was the blind man doing at the movies? He was on a date.

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What did the tree say when it was cut down? Nothing, it's a tree

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why did the 70 year old white barber refuse to cut the black man's hair... It's because the old man's wife died just two weeks prior to this appointment and he is not in the current mental state to be wielding a pair of sharp sicors near another man's neck. This has happened many times between him and his customers in the past week, and his client base is lessening because of this.

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Click click ,scroll scroll. Bro you wasted your time. -Troll Lord

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares

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Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

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A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

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Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

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Why was the alpaca sad He just got raped

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You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

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why did the little boy cry? some gang killed his family infront of him.

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What would happen if you threw 50 plates off of your roof? Nothing. No one in their right mind would do that. Besides, who owns 50 plates?

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What's worse than the holocaust? Peoples' bad attempts at Anti-Jokes.

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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