How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because there is no such person as Micheal J. Fox. Michael J. Fox, on the other hand, cannot draw a perfect circle because he has Parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A jew walks into an Oven....

thumb_up thumb_down -83

what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +90

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? Me :'(

thumb_up thumb_down +28

say it aloud and fast: •im sofa king stew ped •ice bank mice elf •alpha Q •mike hunt •mike ock

thumb_up thumb_down +20

old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats better than sex? cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know how geese fly in a V formation and sometimes one side is longer than the other. Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

derp

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Ralph fall off the swing He was distracted because he had a perfect view of the twin towers when 9-11 was happening

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Nothing, they never met! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why couldn't the man rock climb? he didn't have hands

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -140

Why doesn't the mexican have a job? Grad school is taking up too much of his time.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is very bad looking

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: One leg is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops