Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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Canada

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Banana(s)

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Jokes are funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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