What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Yeah, totally.

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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a

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I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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