Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Avery has crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The glass is half an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Dozer has a soul

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy is playing cod

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops