Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

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Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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