Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock your gay

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar. End of story.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What's worse then stubbing your toe? A: Coming home from school and your house is burnt down and your whole family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

thumb_up thumb_down +20

9:11 make a wish

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops