What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I came.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops