How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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hi

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Amputations.

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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Women's Basketball.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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KEVIN HART

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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