Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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Which one is hardest?

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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You're so straight!

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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nice shorts.

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Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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