what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

A seal walks into a club.

what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

Why did the old lady but her Jelly In her roller skates and dress them up like a doll? She has Dementia

What do you call a school bus full of white kids? A school bus.

Miscarriages.

one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

Why did the Jew ask for a napkin? something funny about the holocaust

Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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