What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

Knock knock It's open, come in.

How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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