Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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Adam Sandler.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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Robin, get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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