"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +41

the chicken whent boomand then died

thumb_up thumb_down +41

how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops