An Asian person drove home safely.

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Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

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What's black, white and red all over and can't turn around in a corridor? A nun with a spear through her

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What was the blind man doing at the movies? He was on a date.

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What's a bug's favorite sport? Bug's can't play sports.

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: One leg is both the same.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Jumped.

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Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

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Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

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what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? Me :'(

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whats better than sex? cookies

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is very bad looking

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A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

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What did the tree say when it was cut down? Nothing, it's a tree

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What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

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What did the retarded black kid say in gym? Eugh eugh eugh eugh

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, cause he didn't make it till Christmas...

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what's the difference between a pile of shit and a human. a human has a mind, a pile of shit doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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